I did not know what to expect from my second birth.
I knew I wanted an experience different from the birth of my eldest son - which was long, hard, stuck, in which I was helpless in the face of the decrees of birth.
That's what I asked Tami - my doula, who prepared me for the birth and accompanied me through my birth journey.
I got what I had asked and much more. Ran's birth was an empowering and wonderful experience for me. The birth process began long before the birth of Ran: a process of preparation, attunement of the body, thought and feeling. At first I tried to make an artificial change in thinking - to memorize what Tami said, to convince myself that I wanted the contractions - those are the ones that help the baby come out.
With physical practice, relaxation, and especially the experience of guided imagery, the change became real. During guided imagery sessions, Tami hooked up to my inner world of imagery so I found myself sliding down the chute skiing birth, overcoming inhibitions before each steep decline. During another practice, while in deep relaxation, I posted my fears in her strong hands (being of faith that she can contain them in her) – a liberating experience that gives strength. I waited for labor, contractions, and most importantly I felt ready to meet them.
Practice helped to facilitate an experience of familiarity as well as a sense of control and security.
Even if it's only in the imagination, I felt I'd been there - I went through stages of birth, I successfully faced my fears.
Two days before the birth, I called Tami to the hospital for what turned out to be a false labor. Tami accompanied me all that day, contained the anticipation of disappointment and frustration involved in anticipating birth at such an advanced stage of pregnancy and the discharge from the labor and delivery unit.. Together, as in a therapeutic process, we investigated my ambivalence toward birth, the roots of inhibitions.
Receiving non-judgmental presence and yogic world view allowed me to return soon to my routine, reduce stress and ultimately lead to a real birth. Tami's continuous presence in the weeks before I gave birth made me feel supported and collected and helped me use her in birth. I knew she knew me, and I knew she would help me in the best way. I felt I had someone to lean on and trust. During birth I could directly communicate what is right for me and when - and Tami understood. When I needed my partner - she gave him a place.
When contractions started I knew how to accept them. I was proud of my composure and of my ability to be in control. "Wasn't it painful?" People ask me when I tell about my good birth experience. Of course it hurt - but the pain was not the center of my experience.
The surrounding persons were also surprised at how quickly I recovered post partum. This time I didn't experience traumatic birth and therefore I did not have post traumatic symptoms (neither mentally nor physically). Today I am embracing charming sweet Ran and know he came to the world in a wonderful way, with tranquility and love.
Dear Tami
There are not enough words to thank you for what you have done for me, for us. Kind love, acceptance without borders, endless giving – escorting, supporting, listening, thinking, touching, you made it possible and on top of that- you were there in a relaxing and receiving way.
I can only say a heartfelt thank you (until the next journey)
Us - Shimrit, Gadi, Gil and Ran.